A Bone-Weary Non-Blogger

Hey! It’s me? Remember me? The woman, wife and mother who loves Jesus and wants to share how He works Himself out in her life and home? The woman with ME/CFS who gets so tired she doesn’t know her name? The woman who seemingly dropped off the face of the earth almost a year ago–at least as far as blogging goes? Yep. Still me.

I have to confess to you something you already know: I have not been blogging. And what you don’t know: I have no excuse.

I made up excuses in my head. They sounded good at the time. They went something like this:

  • I’m too tired to even try to think. (Sometimes true…and I slept. However pressing myself to think usually makes me come more alive!)
  • I don’t want to rattle off trite truths from my flesh.
  • If I named my blog “Just a Scribe” because I only want to write what God puts on my heart, how can I write if I don’t know for certain that this is from God?
  • And so on…

However, God has shown me loads of wonderful words. My morning times with Him bring delightful nutritious food to my soul most days. (Though I still have mornings where my ME/CFS has such a strong grip on my mind that I just need Him to essentially “bottle-feed” me my daily portion.) In essence, I have allowed myself to “drift.” Not spiritually, mind you, but in my calling. I’ve allowed my health to dictate how I felt and how I allowed God to use me. I never once questioned it. I just asked myself how I felt and went from there.

While it is true that the Bible paints several portraits of trees bearing fruit “in season,” I also comprehend the condition of my own heart and make no excuses for it. Pastor Levi Lusko says something along these lines: “If Satan can’t keep you from your salvation, he will keep you from your calling.” Can someone please say “ouch” for me?

With this in mind, I choose to join the Apostle Paul and write according to God’s call on my life and not on how I feel. Certainly, I understand that gaps will inevitably occur due to my health, but I need to continue past those and “be about my Father’s business.”

So don’t let me get away with slacking off! If you notice I haven’t written in quite a while, drop me a note and tell me to get on the stick!

And thank you for your faithfulness!

In Him,

brenda

“You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain…” (John 15:16a)

A first blog? Really?

Hey! I know you’re wondering what I’m doing here. Or maybe you’re just wondering what you’re doing here. Well, I can’t answer that second pondering, but let me tell you just a tad about myself and see if I can’t sort through that first one.

I have been super blessed to be married to my best friend for almost 26 years. I’ve made tons of mistakes and I’ve done my utmost to learn from God about how to correct them. I also have two teenagers who, at this writing, are both striving to live hard for God and follow His ways with their whole hearts. Although a godly marriage and home are two of the highest blessings on this earth, neither of them are easy to attain or maintain. My heart is to be able to share with women lessons I’ve already learned and the ones I’m currently learning, that together we may be passionate about fulfilling our roles.

In addition, I will occasionally opine on the lessons I’ve learned through living with ME/CFS, a debilitating neuro-immune disease, which has no known cause and no known cure. My hope is that even through this you will see that, although I am occasionally broken, I am doing my best to seek strength from my Creator and most faithful Friend.

Ultimately, though, my truest joy will come if somehow I encourage you in your walk. Perhaps a scripture or a truth God has shown me will also edify you on your journey. I know you don’t want to drag yourself into heaven. If you’re like me, you will want to waltz in, relishing every moment, knowing that those you love are joining you.

May God bless all you say and do for His glory,

Brenda